PARENTING WITH PARALYSIS

FROM THE QUADRIPLEGIC COMMUNITY:
 “My kids barely remember mom without the chair. Sometimes I’m afraid they will complain about what I can’t do, but mostly they have fun figuring out ways to incorporate me into their games and play.” Jenna, C6-7  
     

“We’re nature nuts and we love road trips and exploring and pushing my chair to its limits. It’s always a bonding experience.” Lori, C5  

“I’ve always expected my children’s respect, regardless of whether I could chase them down. Adolescent years were hard with my oldest daughter. She rebelled against home responsibilities and openly defied me a few times. It was hard. But I believe respect should be mutual and I needed to do better at showing her my love and appreciation.” Christina, C5
Ask a quadriplegic parent how we parent as quadriplegics and we will likely tell you we parent the same way we would if we were able-bodied. There is no special set of strategies for parenting with a disability. 
         

Because there are less physical activities we can take part in, we may require help with small children who still need help physically. We can still be a part of these tasks by being present, and instructing a caregiver on how physical tasks involving a child should be performed.      

You can still participate in play with your child. Little kids may be content to just be observed. Watch them, encourage them, cheer them on.    

You can be a part of your child’s education. Get creative with assistive technology. Read stories out loud while your child turns the pages. You can play board games and have your child move pieces and turn over cards for you.

The consensus among the quadriplegic community is overwhelming: Children adapt to their parents’ disabilities. Their only real concern is having your love and attention. Give them your time. Go on any adventures possible, try new activities. Positive parent-child interactions and the parent's own emotional regulation are critical protective factors that help maintain a safe and supportive emotional climate in the home.

Children need to know they still come first. It's important to avoid behaving entitled to their help. They need gratitude and grace to be children. They need to feel valued, protected and loved. Children achieve better long-term outcomes when parents with disabilities maintain clear emotional boundaries and avoid "leaning" on them for emotional support, a dynamic often referred to as emotional parentification. 
          

PREGNANCY and CHILDBIRTH


Following a spinal cord injury there is no evidence that a woman's ability to conceive is affected. Pregnant quadriplegics can expect constipation, bladder spasticity, an increase in urinary tract infections and you’re at more risk of developing a blood clot. Pressure ulcers are more likely to occur as pressure relief and transfers become more difficult, and you're more susceptible to anemia, which may also contribute to skin breakdown. Find an understanding and involved doctor. You may have to discontinue medications with any potential for birth defects.


C-sections are more frequently performed in quadriplegic women, but contractions begin at the appropriate time regardless of motor function and sensory level. Use of a contraction monitor at home may also be required. You may not have sensation of uterine contractions, just increased spasticity, respiratory changes, and AD. AD may cause fetal distress. Pelvic and spine changes such as contracture may hinder the baby's descent. Positioning on the delivery table and stirrups may be difficult. Spasticity may also interfere with delivery.

After delivery quadriplegic mothers may be more at risk for urinary tract infections. Orthostatic hypotension can occur, so you may faint or feel dizzy when sitting up. Wear elastic hose with or without an abdominal binder. Breastfeeding moms may also experience a reduction in milk production. 

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