FINDING SOLIDARITY AND SUPPORT

02/09/2026
Finding our people after a complete quadriplegic diagnosis isn't always easy. Most people aren't going to understand our level of limitation. But there is no hierarchy to suffering. Many people understand trauma and sadness and have found ways to cope that they want to share. Whether it is peers in the community of spinal cord injury, disability or trauma, peer support can offer great solidarity.
UNITED SPINAL offers peer support groups across the United States. Click the link below to find the closest support group near you. Some groups are also offered virtually.
unitedspinal.org/peer-support-groups/
The Reeve Foundation’s Living with Paralysis and Caring for a Family Member Living with Paralysis support groups provide an opportunity for members to connect with others who understand what they are going through and to gain support, insight, and guidance. Separate groups are held for individuals living with quadriplegia, those living with paraplegia, and family members/caregivers so that meetings can focus on the unique needs and challenges of each. Group meetings are led by two facilitators: a mental health professional and a community member living with paralysis or caring for someone living with paralysis. Meetings are conducted in an open forum/conversational format, and members are encouraged to raise topics and ask questions related to living with paralysis or caregiving that are of interest or concern to them. Register at the link below:
HEY PEERS
When I was first injured I avoided other disabled individuals like the coronavirus, as if by not associating with them I would magically become less disabled. I wasn't ready to hear their inspirational stories of accomplishment and compare my own lack of ability to get my life together. I didn't want to “look for friends in chairs because I'm in a chair” like some of my friends suggested. 


Even if I had wanted to meet other quadriplegics I couldn't have done so in my small rural hometown where I rarely even saw people in manual chairs and they were all decades older than me.

I wasn't ready to reach out online either but eventually when I did, I immediately realized I had been missing out.


Peer support is a tried and true method of psychotherapy. 

What a relief it was to talk to individuals who had gone through the same life altering event as I was enduring! Our stories were different but sometimes they were startlingly similar.

 I also met individuals who had been paralyzed for many years and adapted to the way of life in ways that were unimaginable to me. I wasn't ready yet to let them inspire me about my own future but they were there for me to ask a million questions. Sometimes I didn't have to ask because they volunteered the information, or someone else had asked it first and dozens of people had responded.


The online support groups quickly became an essential part of my care. I would respect my doctor's opinion about all things medical but it was the spinal cord injury community I turned to in order to figure almost everything out. It was also where I met many trusted friends whom I intend to keep. 

Check out these Facebook support groups:
 

Spinal Cord Injury USA

Emotional support doesn't always come from the people you expect it from. Emotional support people can become overwhelmed if they are your only outlet. We must prepare ourselves to watch people walk out of our lives. Friends who are only around for the good times will show their true colors in due time. Some friendships may just fizzle and it serves your mental health better to simply give them grace and let them go. If you used to hike and run or play sports it is understandable that you may not be as close to the friends you did these activities with. 


When seeking support among your able-bodied family and friends, bear in mind that time and care are two separate things. Many individuals may offer a shoulder to cry on but are not cut out to perform personal care. Some people may have difficulty providing emotional support for personal reasons.

Keep an open mind about making new friends who are supportive and understanding. These can always be friends that you meet online. Seek out people with similar interests; Find out what you like to do NOW and find some friends who share that passion.
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